The Wonders of Instant Messaging
by WizOfOz
Summary: What do witches and wizards really chat about? An IM story between our beloved characters. Open to any suggestions! Currently Revising, bear with me!
1. Harry, Hermione, Ron

Writing this just for fun. I read a few "chatting" ff's and decided: Why not write one myself?

Disclaimer: I own nothing… nothing at all! Well, except the screen names…but that's not much now is it!

**Back Story**

During the end of the gang's (HHR) year, Harry received a letter, from his Aunt Petunia. It stated as follows:

_Harry:_

_We, your cousin Dudley, Vernon and I are going on a trip to the Bahamas when Dudley school year ends. This means we will not have time to pick you up at the train station so you will have to take the public bus. Enclosed in the envelope is money.  
We will be gone the whole summer, which also means that you will have to stay in the house. Miss Figgs will be dropping by every now and then to make sure you don't start any type of mischief. She will tell us everything when we get back; I do __**not**__ want to hear that you have been acting up! As I stated before you will have to be in the house the__** entire**__ summer. And you do not have permission to leave it. There's been a lot of burglary going on now and we do not want our precious belongings stolen. There is a list of chores to do on the fridge. It better get done. _

_Petunia Dursley_

Harry had to go and stay at the Dursleys for the whole summer while Hermione was going to Paris for the second time to visit her aunt and Ron along with Ginny were doing an internship program at the ministry.

They promised to keep in touch. Hermione had the brilliant idea to use a muggle invention called the internet…Instant Messaging to be exact. She would take her laptop to Paris. Harry would use Dudley's Computer. And Ron would use the computer his father had confiscated and kept in his office.

They exchanged screen names:

Harry: Boywholived

Hermione: SavoirQueen

Ron: CannonFan#1

____________________________________________________________________________________________

**SavoirQueen** **has now logged on**

**Boywholived:** Hey Herm

**SavoirQueen****: **Bonjour Harry!

**Boywholived:** Hows Paris?

**SavoirQueen: **Oh Harry its wonderful! I absolutely love it here! Of course it would be better if you and Ron were here. I miss you guys so much! How's the summer treating you?

**BoywhoLived: **Lets not go there. Merlin knows there's nothing to do around here…

**SavoirQueen**: At least you have access to the internet. Have you read the lastest issue of the Washington Post? They have this article where it compares our prime minister and the American president. Its absolutey brilliant Harry.

**Boywholived:** Actually, no. I HAVE been surfing around and as sick as I thought Dudley was in the past, does not compare to the sick shit that I've seen him go through. He's into midgets and feet.

**SavoirQueen****: **I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you're trying to say. Feet?

**Boywholived:** Trust me, you don't want to know…

**SavoirQueen: **Harry…

**Boywholived:** yes?

**SavoirQueen: **Are you talking about pornography?

**Boywholived: **Its BEYOND that.. I mean, why can't he be into the more normal shit.. I mean Ron and I the other day were discussing.. Never mind. He's a sick bastard..

**SavoirQueen: **What do you expect Harry, he's of the male species.

**BoyWhoLived: **Hey! What does that mean! I'm of the male species!! Besides, Dudley's 90 percent pig and 10 male, So his actions are not really male-like, they're just fucking weird.

**SavoirQueen****: **You're horrible Harry. Anyway, has Ron logged on today?

**BoyWhoLived: **Why the sudden interest my dear Hermione?

**SavoirQueen****: **I just wanted to know if my best friend has logged on! NOTHING ELSE! Oh, grow up Harry!

**BoyWhoLived: **yeah yeah, get over it..

**SavoirQueen****: **Ron logged on!

**CannonFan#1 has logged on**

**BoyWhoLived:** excited much?

**CannonFan#1:** Huh? This thing is bloody hard to use! It took me and Ginny an HOUR to figure out how to open this piece of turd!

**SavoirQueen****:** Did you even listen to me when I was demonstrating the proper way to use a computer last summer?

_(CannonFan#1 is typing)_

**SavoirQueen: **And it isn't a turd. All because the user is one, doesn't necessarily mean the computer is one as well..

_(CannonFan#1 is typing)_

**SavoirQueen: **Are you there Ron?

_(CannonFan#1 is typing)_

**SavoirQueen: **Honestly Ronald, were you paying attention last summer?

**CannonFan#1:** uh…maybe?

**SavoirQueen****: **You infuriate me, do you know that?

**CannonFan#1: **Actually, thats something I DO know

**BoyWhoLived:** Alright alright guys, As much as I LOVE seeing you two fight… stop it already

**SavoirQueen****:** Too late, Harry..I'm out. See you in a bit though. As for you Ron… I hate you right now….just in case you might think otherwise.

**SavoirQueen**** has logged off**

**BoyWhoLived:** Nice going mate…

**CannonFan#1:** What got her knickers in a twist?

**BoyWhoLived: **At this rate...You'll never get her…

**CannonFan#1:** Who said I WANT to get her!

**CannonFan#1:** ok! Ok! Fine, shut up!

**BoyWhoLived:** lol, I haven't written anything!

**CannonFan#1 has logged off**

**Boywholived has logged off**

DONE! well...not for now!

Coming up:Fred and George and Ginny!

(click below to review and make me happy!)


	2. Harry, George, Ginny, Colin, Ron

Hey hey hey…New chapter! Yay! I added a another character, one more than I said I would in the previous chapter…I got inspired.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!

**Gred-n-Forge is now online**

**CannonFan#1:** Fred or George, or both at that…since when do you have a comp whatever?

**Boywholived:** it's called a computer Ron, a computer…

**Gred-n-Forge:** Hey Harry, Ron. This is actually the only muggle thing we actually have a keen interest on. Ever since Dad showed it to us we knew we had to have it. So, we bought one for the shop. George knows how to use this more than I do though…He's brilliant. He's better than me! And not only on using this thing... At everything!

**Boywholived:** this is George isn't it…?

**Gred-n-Forge:** well… yeah. Fred is taking care of the clients :D

**CannonFan#1:** Talking about clients and stuff…how's the store coming along? I haven't been there for ages. Mum won't let me floo there alone. Dead annoying...really.

**Gred-n-Forge:** It's going great. At this rate we'll have Snape retiring early! Fred and I counted at least 30 Hogwarts Students buying their "school supplies" extra early this year.

**Boywholived:** That reminds me Ron. We have to buy more dungbombs…we ran out last year, remember?

**CannonFan#1:** That's right! Well, I have to go. Dads calling me and Ginny wants to get on. Bye

**CannonFan#1 has logged off**

**QueenWeasley has logged on**

**Gred-n-Forge:** Oy' Ginny! It's a family Reunion!

**QueenWeasley:** Hey guys, how business?

**Gred-n-Forge:** never been better…

**Boywholived:** They're giving Snape a run for his life…

**QueenWeasley:** Really? Sounds like fun. So Harry, Ron tells me you won't be able to come by the Burrow this summer… That really bites.

**Boywholived:** Yeah, My uncle and co. decided to take a trip to the Bahamas and leave me here "house sitting"..

**QueenWeasley:** Now that, ROYALLY bites. I don't know how you can go thru all of that… I'd rather spend a whole day with Umbridge or the twins, than house-sit a muggles house all summer... no offense

**Gred-n-Forge:** HEY! How can our favorite sister say that about her favorite twins in the whole wide world!

**QueenWeasley:** newsflash guys, I'm your only sister...

**Gred-n-Forge:** that's beyond the point. Any who, we'll leave you two love birds alone! Now, is the time I flee! FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Gred-n-Forge has left the conversation**

**QueenWeasley:** They'll never grow up. Will they?

**Boywholived:** probably not, but, they do have a point in something..

**QueenWeasley:** What do you mean?

**Boywholived:** I mean… the love birds bit?

_(QueenWeasley is typing)_

**TheCameraMan has logged on**

**TheCameraMan:** Hiya guys! Hi Harry! Hi Ginny!

**Boywholived:** Colin… Just the person I wanted to hear from..

**TheCameraMan:** Really?! Thanks Harry! Hey, would you happen to be able to send me a picture of you by email?

**QueenWeasley:** um.. hey Colin

**TheCameraMan: **Hey Ginny.. so, Harry..the picture?

**Boywholived:** Sorry Colin but no.

**TheCameraMan:** How come? Do you not know how to send it? You just have to click that link on the top of the screen that say's "send files". It's not that hard. I have to update my fan page. It's really amazing Harry. You should visit it one time. I'll send you the link by email. You have so many fans, it's ridiculous. But I'm you number one fan Harry.. I am I am. 

**QueenWeasley:** Colin, can you a bring the fan girl craze you have going on down a notch?

**Boywholived:** SO…Ginny.. um, are you having a nice summer?

**TheCameraMan:** ugh, Harry I'll talk to you later, k?

**Boywholived:** uh huh.. so Ginny, we were talking about.. you know..

**TheCameraMan has signed off**

**QueenWeasley:** What were we talking about?

**Boywholived:** damn, we'll talk about it later.. Figg is here. Bye.

**Boywholived has signed off**

I know, extremely short chapter…on to the next!

Since this ff is really pointless and really doesn't have a storyline, I don't know who to include in the next chapter… I have so far a conversation between Colin and Harry, (which, I was going to include in this chapter... but I decided not to) But I have no idea of what other characters to include….So any suggestions? Bye!


	3. Harry, Colin, EMAILS!

Only one review! Well, It was a good review. So ha! Lol, Here's to my two readers.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter… , nor do I own the MSN Messenger program..or any IM'ing devices for that matter! If I did own Harry Potter, though , these would not be the pairings. It would be Harry OC (me), Ron OC (me), Draco OC (me)! Lol, on with the story.

* * *

**TheCameraMan:** So.. Harry

**BoyWhoLived:** Colin, can I ask you a question?

**TheCameraMan:** Sure Harry… shoot!

**BoyWhoLived:** Colin, are you gay?

**TheCameraMan:** I'm always gay! Why, thank you for asking Harry

**BoyWhoLived:** No, Colin... I don't mean gay as in happy. I mean gay as in liking the same sex. As in homosexual..

**TheCameraMan:** HOW COME I ALWAYS GET THAT QUESTION? oy

**BoyWhoLived:** Well, probably because you act that way. I mean, you kinda act the part.

**TheCameraMan:** I do? Well, why are you asking me this Harry? You interested???????????????

**BoyWhoLived:** Me? Of course not! I was just asking you because you keep coming on to me, and its a school wide inquiry. I'm definetly not the only person who thinks this.

**TheCameraMan**: I know they do. But Oh well. Hey, Harry even though I'm not gay and you are not gay maybe we can still get together?

**BoyWhoLived**: Uh, I don't think so.

**TheCameraMan:** How Come?

**BoyWhoLived:** Being together would imply we are gay, Colin.

**TheCameraMan:** nuh uh! Look at Batman and Robin, the muggle comics..

**BoyWhoLived:** I'm pretty sure Robin was gay.

**BoywhoLoved:** REGARDLESS, no.

**TheCameraMan:** Oh c'mon Harry, why not?!

**BoywhoLived:** Well, I'm seeing someone

**TheCameraMan:** Who?

**BoyWhoLived:** none of your business, Colin.

**TheCameraMan:** I doubt you're going out with anyone Harry, trust me, I would have known.

**BoyWhoLived:** Well, we just started dating actually

**TheCameraMan:** Really? May I have this mystery persons name?

**BoyWhoLived:** person? girl Colin... girl..

**TheCameraMan:** ugh, fine.. so who is it?

**_(BoyWhoLived is typing)_**

**TheCameraMan:** hello?? Harry!!

**BoyWhoLiveed:** Its Ginny

**TheCameraMan:** Really? She never told me!

**BoyWhoLived:** yeah, well we started going out a few days ago so…

**TheCameraMan:** Oh, well Harry I have to go! Nice talking to you

**BoyWhoLived:** Alright then

**TheCameraMan:** Bye!

**TheCameraMan has just signed off**

* * *

To: Ron Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Heeeelp

Ron,

I think I messed up… big time. I was talking to Colin and one thing lead to another and I asked him if he was gay. Which, we all know he is; but he denied it. So, then he asks me if I'm gay! Which of course, I'm not but he keeps on persisting and one thing lead to a complete other and I might have said that I'm going out with Ginny. But I don't know what to do. Do I tell Ginny? Will she kill me?.. Is she even seeing someone? Hurry with the response mate, I'm shitting bricks.

Harry

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Ron Weasley

Subject: Tisk Tisk

Harry!

First of all, I cannot believe you had that conversation with Colin! That was Hilarious mate. Second of all, stop sweating it Ginny will never know! And you guys are going to be together at some point so it's not that much of a deal now is it?

On to other news… I can't believe that Hermione! She never gets on! I write her emails and no reply. I bet she's with fucking Vicky and his bloody German, Russian, whatever the fuck he is, self..

Ron

* * *

So? How was it? Let me know in Reviews!! Again, I'M OPEN TO ANY SUGGESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE

(click below to review)


	4. Oh so many emails!

HAPPY DANCE YAAAAY I received a bunch of reviews! You make me happy. Now I make you happy writing another chapter! I appreciated al the advice…I don't know how I could add Charlie or Bill to the story… is Charlie the one who slays dragons? Or is Bill? Hmm I'm confused... lol. As in for Draco, I think I have an Idea… Although it may seem pretty unreal but hey, that's the point of fan fictions, right? Whatever…ON WITH THE STORY!

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Harry Potter… I wouldn't be writing fan fictions if I did anyway… I would be making millions! Not the forty bucks monthly I get for allowance…lol

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Hermione Granger

Subject: this is getting quite annoying really!

Harry,

Would you please tell your friend, Ronald Bilius Weasley to STOP SENDING ME EMAILS! Everyday I have not one, nor two, but a million emails from Ron, asking me to forgive him! I replied once and asked to what he thinks he needs forgiving for and he emails me writing: "I forgot". FORGOT! The nerve of that boy.

By the way, who's this Vicky he keeps mentioning? He isn't dating anyone is he?

Well, I have to go… Mum wants me to walk my aunts Chihuahua… Tata Harry!

Yours truly,

Hermione Granger

* * *

To: Hermione Granger

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Hey! How's Paris?

Hermione,

You have to give Ron a break! You know he's a little…well how should I put this nicely..dense. He has emailed me loads of times telling me how sad and depressed he's been because you haven't forgiven him. So, forgive him! You really really mean a lot to him Hermione… Just give him a chance, would ya?

Harry

* * *

**Gred-n-Forge has now logged on**

**BoyWhoLived:**Hey Fred or George, whoever this is…

**Gred-n-Forge:** Hiya Harry! This is George today… how may I help you? Oy Ron! How are you mate?

**CannonFan#1:** You've bloody lost it you know that?

**Gred-n-Forge:** Lost it? I've lost it once… They threw me in a hole, I died there. There were a lot of rats. Rats! I hate Rats! They drive me crazy! I was crazy once…

**BoyWhoLived:** I seriously can't keep up with them

**Gred-n-Forge:** I couldn't have lost it... I don't think I ever had it! Wait… what are we talking about?

**CannonFan#1:** SOOOO… George, are you guys at the shop now?

**Gred-n-Forge:** This is Fred! Seriously! I can't believe me own brother doesn't know how to tell me and my twin apart! I am OFENDED! Good day Sir or Madam

**Gred-n-Forge has now logged off**

**BoyWhoLived:** well that was an interesting conversation….

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Ginny Weasley

Subject: Important

Dear Harry,

I'm not good at these email thingies, so I don't know if this will get to you at all but, I just finish chatting with Colin and he told me that you told him that we were well… going out. I don't know if he made this up or you truly told him that. Well, this is getting embarrassing enough, reply to this email A.S.A.P.!

Sincerely,

Ginny

* * *

To: Ron Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: shit shit shit!

Attachment files: Ginny Email

Ron!

Ginny just sent me an email! I attached it to this one.. just click on it, it'll open. I really don't fucking know what to say.

Harry

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Ron Weasley

Subject: seriously?

Mate stop being a jerk off and just tell her. Honesty is the best policy!

Ron

* * *

To: Ron Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Re: seriously?

Honesty is the best policy? Who sold you that line? I know ur trying to get into Herms pants but c'mon dude. Don't tell her I said that btw. I might just go tell Ginny the truth. I'll tell u how it goes, if I live.

Harry

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Colin Creevey

Subject: Hey

I love u

Secret Admirer

* * *

To: Colin Creevey

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Re: Hey

Colin, I know the email is from you...Even though you sign as a secret admirer, its still says your name on the "From" section.

Harry

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Secret Admirer

Subject: Hey

I love you

Secret Admirer

* * *

To: Colin Creevey

From: Harry Potter

Subject: ...

A restraining order isn't just a muggle thing you know...

* * *

To: Harry Potter

From: Secret Admirer

Subject:

Im Sorry.

* * *

To: Ron Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Help

Do you think you can owl me some dungbombs? I have someone I'd like to take care of

Harry

* * *

I'll probably include Draco Malfoy in the next chapter.. maybe just maybe there will be a "love triangle" going on... who knows? anyway..keep on reviewing and giving me ideas!

(click below to review)


	5. What! Draco IM'ing?

THANX FOR THE REVIEWS! This is for : Rocks-my-socks! My most faithful reviewer! ;)

* * *

**Freckle-Face has now logged on**

**Freckle-Face:** good your online, SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED!

**BoyWhoLived:** Hello to you too, my friend

**Freckle-Face:** THIS IS SERIOUS! DO U KNOW WHO IS HERE?

**BoyWhoLived:** no, but I bet your gonna tell me!

**Freckle-Face:** BLOODY MALFOY THAT'S WHO!

**BoyWhoLived:** Junior or Senior? As far as I know, The old fart Malfoy works there.

**Freckle-Face:** I know, I see him everyday, and I lose my appetite every time… But point being. He apparently comes here every summer. The reason he hasn't been here before was because he was in a vacation of some sort…probably went to get the dark mark on his arm!

**BoyWhoLived:** I feel new found sense of pity towards you…

**Freckle-Face:** Gee, thanks!

**DARKDRAGON has now logged on**

**DARKDRAGON:** Would've known it was you Potter...and Weasel... what were you guys talking about..your honeymoon?

**BoyWhoLived:** Malfoy…you have internet… wait, better yet, you have a computer?

**Freckle-Face:** Probably to speak to his fellow death eaters, the one's who go by as muggles!

**DARKDRAGON:** weasley how did you get that computer? Oh yeah! Your father had to steal it from a wizard…what happened, can't afford your own?

**Freckle-Face:** Shut up and go bleach your hair Malfoy, everyone knows you do it..

**DARKDRAGON:** I would take offence to that, only you used it oh so many times.. go get new comebacks weasel

**Freckle-Face:** Ferret

**BoyWhoLived:** alright! Malfoy, what do you want?

**DARKDRAGON:** The mud blood has died, and weaslette has turned into a dike, now you both turn to each other! That's touching really, I'll leave you lovers alone...

**DARKDRAGON has logged off**

**Freckle-Face:** he's such a annoying prat! What I would give to kill him!

**BoyWhoLived:** don't get all worked up because of him, he's just a wannabe death eater

**Freckle-Face:** How come you're so calm?

**BoyWhoLived:** I'm trying the method I use on Dudley. But instead of calling it "ignore the Pig", I call it..."Tune out the asshole"

**Freckle-Face:** Hey I have to go, dads calling me! Bye!

**Freckle-Face has now logged off**

* * *

Subject: Hey…

Hey Ginny,

Well, what you heard from Colin was true. I did tell him that. But, you would have to see the situation we were in… It's actually sort of funny. I asked him if he was gay, and that made him believe that I was gay. WHICH I'M NOT! And well, he kept insisting that I was so…I told him that. Sorry, If I offended you in any way! Well, I have to go. Ms. Figgs is here!

Sincerely,

Harry J Potter

* * *

Subject: Its OK!

Well, that s ok I guess.. talk to you later..

p.s. Did u know Malfoy has internet!

Yours truly,

Ginevra Weasley

* * *

Subject: We meet again!

Weaslette,

As much to my surprise, I actually enjoyed talking to you yesterday. Most of the people online are big retards, so ,I have no other remedy than to talk to someone at least with half of my intelligence, right? Get online tomorrow at same time, I have a busy life busy life you know! I can't just spend it waiting for you now can't I? Its much better if it's the opposite…

Draco Malfoy

* * *

Subject: you're a psycho!

Malfoy,

I don't know whether to say thank you or to say: "shove it up your ass" … You complimented yourself, like 2 times in ONE email! Any who, I strangely agree on the fact that It was "nice" talking to you... I'll get on tomorrow at the same time.. I'll wait 2 min. If your not online…Well too bad!

Yours truly,

Ginevra Weasley

* * *

SoOoOo.. We have a little DMGW action going on here.. I still dunno if its gonna be a HPGW, or DM… but yeah.. Thanks a lot for the reviews!

(click below to review)


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